05 – Resources for Straight Partners

Blakeley, a writer for Forbes, was happily living in New York City, engaged to Aaron, the man she’d been with for a decade, when he dropped a bomb on her one afternoon: he’s pretty sure he’s gay. Blakeley is blindsided by Aaron’s announcement and suddenly finds herself thrust back into the dating world at the age of 36. Demoralized and certain that she isn’t ready to jump into another relationship, Blakeley opts for no-strings-attached hook-ups with two men she meets in bars, a charming Indian lothario named Rahil and James, a younger man whose outward shyness masks his inner player. While Rahil pines for his ex-girlfriend, and James dates a series of younger foreign women, Blakeley tries to navigate a tricky minefield: sex without love. Blakeley’s lively memoir definitely limns the emotional upheaval that comes with the dissolution of a long-term relationship, and many will relate to her attempts to get back on her feet and find her way in the often emotionally taxing dating world. Author: Kiri Blakeley.

Dr. Drescher elaborates on the psychological issues faced by LGBT+ individuals coming out. “More severe forms of dissociation are commonly observed in married men who are homosexually self-aware but cannot permit the thought of themselves as gay (Roughton, 2002).” Author: Jack Drescher, MD.

When Lingerie Is Not Enough deals with life after a spouse has made a decision to leave the marriage giving his or her spouse no choice in the matter. It gives the author’s life story along with encouragement and practical tips on how to deal with the hurt and pain of a marriage that ends in divorce including how to forgive and move forward. While it is specific to the author’s life, where a spouse and father is homosexual and how to deal with those issues, it also applies to many circumstances that end a marriage. When Lingerie Is Not Enough also addresses the issue of children who have been affected by divorce and specifically how to help them through the painful process of rejection and abandonment when a parent leaves the family unit. Well meaning Christians will say, “Divorce is a sin; you should fight for your marriage.” “Just fix yourself up and wear some sexy lingerie; that will solve your marital problems.” These are the things that are taught in church but sometimes there are issues that go deeper than just applying some perfume and buying some new lingerie. There are some issues that cannot be resolved in a marriage, especially when one of the spouses walks away, refuses to participate in the marriage and brings a destructive element into the household. When this happens the spouse left behind wrestles with guilt, abandonment and rejection. This book addresses these emotions and provides encouragement to the spouses left behind. Author: Kristi Sherwood.

The true story of a wife, her homosexual husband, and a love that transcended tragedy. Gerald Pearson had been honest with Carol Lynn about his homosexual past, but both of them had faith that marriage and devotion to their religion would change his orientation. Love would conquer all. Then, after eight years of apparent happiness and the birth of four children, Gerald was no longer able to deny what he considered to be his essential self. Carol Lynn was shattered, her self-esteem all but destroyed. Their divorce, however, could not erase a lifetime of love and mutual support. Carol Lynn courageously stood by her former husband’s side. Even when he contracted AIDS – and came home to die. Author: Carol Lynn Pearson.

What do you do when your apparently heterosexual Christian spouse reveals they are gay or same-sex attracted? The revelation leads to a shattering of the heterosexual spouse, especially if they have been married a long time. Deception: Revelation to Release Responses to My Secret Gay Spouse by Deborah Nottingham opens a personal view on her journey of deception from revelation to release. The first three months of this event are told from her raw journals at the time and her look back as a restored woman. Deception is the core issue, not the homosexuality. Her search for answers to her marital issues begins with her view that divorce is not acceptable for her as a Christian, even as the marriage disintegrates.

Author Carrie Wynn describes the four stages of behavior a narcissist will employ to keep a relationship that benefits them intact.

The bestselling author of the novels Soul Food and Web of Deception, LaJoyce Brookshire tells a true story more shattering than any work of fiction. It’s herstory. A memoir of survival against the odds and courage in the face of a troubled relationship and a terrifying illness. A chronicle of faith under fire.

Sheri Stritof writes about key issues facing Straight Partners and how to cope.

Author Juliet Jeske makes the Straight Partner’s case for marriage equality.

Explores the steps and factors to consider when discussing whether or not to make your Mixed Orientation Relationship work. Author: Iamclinic

This article traces the origins of the term Men who have sex with men (MSM) as a way to help epidemiologists trying to study HIV transmission in males engaging in same sex sexual activity but who did not identify as gay due to the stigma surrounding homosexuality and HIV/AIDS. Authors: James Myhre & Dennis Sifris, MD.

Blogger Juliet Jeske chronicles the discovery that her husband was gay, and the response of those around her. She dispels the myth that her marriage was not a farce and that her husband actually loved her. She writes about the trauma of betrayal, and the added stigma of being a straight spouse.