A critical component of healing for Straight Partners and Partners of Trans People is our stories, both sharing them and hearing them. We’ve created the Our Voices page to share our latest podcasts, our blog posts, and our new video content. No matter where you are on your journey – whether you are a just a few weeks post discovery or disclosure or several years out, whether you have left your partnership or are remaining in your Mixed Orientation Relationship – you can find community, healing, insights and growth in each other’s stories. Here we share our griefs, our triumphs, our traumas and our recoveries as we forge new paths forward.
NOTABLE QUOTES
Our Voices Podcasts
Podcasts![](https://emfjjpdexyu.exactdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/OP-Post-Stock-Featured-Image-19.jpg?strip=all&lossy=1&w=1920&ssl=1)
When Christine discovered her husband was gay after thirteen years of marriage, at first she felt relief that the disconnect between them had been explained. Anger and grief came much later. But when her oldest child came out as…
When Christine discovered her husband was gay after thirteen years of marriage, at first she felt relief that the disconnect between them had been explained. Anger and grief came much later. But when her oldest child came out as trans a few years later, she felt her grief first. Many straight spouses in mixed orientations marriages have LGBT+ children and face the challenge of reconciling conflicting feelings around those respective comings out. On today’s show, our guest talks about the dissonance between her feelings when her spouse came out and when her child came out, and how she worked through the feelings to find acceptance.
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Guest: Wade Ferris With candor and vulnerability, Wade Ferris shares his story of learning that his wife of 23 years is a lesbian during the pandemic. A dedicated father and husband, Wade tried for decades to unlock the stalemate…
Guest: Wade Ferris
With candor and vulnerability, Wade Ferris shares his story of learning that his wife of 23 years is a lesbian during the pandemic. A dedicated father and husband, Wade tried for decades to unlock the stalemate and repair the lack of intimacy in his marriage. By his own admission, the disconnect from his wife made him resentful and “not much fun to be around.” He went on a mission to correct everything his wife complained was wrong with him, at last becoming what she called, “the perfect husband.” But, as he soon found out, this was not enough to save their mixed orientation marriage.
Wade is currently writing a book about the straight spouse experience.
A very touching episode and I have every sympathy with Wade for his experience as I do with our other husbands and male partners. I felt very sad for him and am only glad that finally he’s getting out – I hope he gets a fair settlement and that he has a chance for a truly reciprocal romance in his new life. There wasn’t a lot said about the children but I hope they are coping ok with this situation. It’s not easy.
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![](https://emfjjpdexyu.exactdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/OP-Post-Stock-Featured-Image-17.jpg?strip=all&lossy=1&w=1920&ssl=1)
Guest: Anne-Marie Zanzal Podcaster, Writer and Coming Out Coach Anne-Marie Zanzal shares her journey to coming out as a late-life lesbian after decades in a straight marriage. With the hope of building understanding and healing for straight husbands, she…
Guest: Anne-Marie Zanzal
Podcaster, Writer and Coming Out Coach Anne-Marie Zanzal shares her journey to coming out as a late-life lesbian after decades in a straight marriage. With the hope of building understanding and healing for straight husbands, she sheds light on the experiences of women coming out later in life and answers their questions.
About Anne-Marie: https://annemariezanzal.com
Wow! There was a lot in that I wanted to take issue with – and I’m not even a man with a gay wife!! It made me extremely angry in parts. A lot of parts. I also feel concerned for the SPA men listening to it.
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Straight Talk Blog
Blog![Regarding the Experiences of Women Whose Husbands Come Out as Transgender: Be Curious, Not Judgmental.](https://emfjjpdexyu.exactdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/STB-Regarding-the-Experiences-of-Women-Whose-Husbands-Come-Out-as-Transgender.jpg?strip=all&lossy=1&w=1920&ssl=1)
By Kristin Kalbli The character Ted Lasso is, in my opinion, a delightful pop sage of our times, and one of his most impactful platitudes is undoubtedly, “be curious, not judgmental.” Observing that he had been misjudged his whole…
![Why Straight Spouses Need Support During Pride Month](https://emfjjpdexyu.exactdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/06/STB-Why-Straight-Spouses-Need-Support-During-Pride-Month.jpg?strip=all&lossy=1&w=1920&ssl=1)
By Kristin Kalbli At OurPath, we know that when June rolls around each year, many straight spouses struggle. It’s not news that June is internationally celebrated as LGBT+ Pride month. What began as a righteous and necessary protest march…
![Pronouns, And Why I Don’t Care About Them](https://emfjjpdexyu.exactdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2022/04/STB-Pronouns-And-Why-I-Dont-Care-About-Them.jpg?strip=all&lossy=1&w=1920&ssl=1)
By Ellen Koretz Ah, pronouns, those vexatious little words. English lacks a widely-accepted gender-neutral singular pronoun, although it sure could use one. My former spouse – now, there’s a nice, gender-neutral word – has come out as transgender. I…
our path videos
our path videos![](https://emfjjpdexyu.exactdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/Home-Page-Amity-Video-Cover.png?strip=all&lossy=1&w=1920&ssl=1)
Founder Amity Pierce Buxton welcomes you to OurPath, formerly known as the Straight Spouse Network. Watch to learn about our organization’s recommitment to our founding mission.
![Amity's Archives Houston Conference 1992 Part 1](https://emfjjpdexyu.exactdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Amitys-Archives-Houston-Conference-1992-Part-1.png?strip=all&lossy=1&w=1920&ssl=1)
Amity Pierce Buxton gives a seminar in Houston, Texas in the 1990s about her research into the Straight Partner experience.
![Amity's Archives Houston Conference 1992 Part 2](https://emfjjpdexyu.exactdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/09/Amitys-Archives-Houston-Conference-1992-Part-2.png?strip=all&lossy=1&w=1920&ssl=1)
Part Two of Amity Pierce Buxton’s seminar in Houston, Texas, 1990s.
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