BE A DONOR

In 2001 when my wife told me she was gay, I didn’t believe her. The shock of finding out your spouse isn’t who or what you thought they were can be devastating. I began a campaign to help her get over her current “feelings” (a mid-life crisis?) and get us back to our happy, fulfilling marriage. My plan didn’t work. I thought I must be the only guy in the whole world with a lesbian wife. I’d never felt so lost and alone. Our counselor gave each of us Amity’s book, The Other Side of The Closet, and I discovered OurPath (then the SSN). After contacting SSN, I found a support group in Atlanta, and I immediately joined. The support group and Amity’s book saved me, helped me understand that I was not alone, and gave me support to begin recovering and dealing with the aftermath – divorce, selling our home, telling the kids, deciding where I wanted to live and buying a new house. I learned that OurPath is a non-profit that relies on donations from supporters, so I began giving.

The more I’ve learned about OurPath and its efforts to support Straight Partners all over the world, the more I’ve felt the need to give whatever I could. OurPath plays several critical roles, but I found two of them to be the most important for me: 1) a resource for people to call or contact via the web, and 2) connection to Support Groups.

I hope more people and organizations will support OurPath with the funding necessary to provide this invaluable service.

In 2009 a meteor crashed into my life. My husband determined he was gay—or maybe I discovered he was gay. My family doctor told me, “This happens often.” Well, it had never happened to me! In fact, I believed I was the only person this had happened to. On day two of my journey, I found OurPath. I found a community of support and resources and I had the comfort of chatting online with people who were in my situation. That was my salvation.

Over the years I became a Support Contact, and eventually the Executive Director of the organization. I have since remarried. I don’t have the urgent need for support anymore, but to this day I value the camaraderie I found at OurPath.

I am a donor to OurPath because it is important to give back. There will always be a new person finding the organization because homophobia and closets are still a societal problem.

Give generously if you can.

I give my financial support to OurPath because of its support for me. I don’t know if that means I’m paying it backwards, forwards, or just paying it! Nonetheless, I give because it’s the right thing to do given the important role OurPath has played in my life over these last four years of healing.

I, like many of you, am — and always was — an LGBT+ ally. Even when the just cause entered my bedroom, I remained an advocate. I continue to believe that, if it weren’t so hard, scary, and dangerous for people to come out, perhaps there would be no need for OurPath.

My husband sat me down after 23 years of marriage, one amazing child, a shared personal and professional life representing the United States as Foreign Service Officers, and told me that he was gay. It was the “second most difficult thing he’d ever done,” (the first being admitting to himself that he is gay. I told him I loved him and asked if he wanted a divorce. He said “no,” and asked me in return. I could barely think, let alone answer.

I contacted OurPath (then SSN) through support triage. They asked sensitive questions, provided encouraging support and made sure I was safe and okay. It was the first time I spoke to someone who was “in the club.” Within a few weeks, I was in monthly Support Group meetings. At the meetings, I learned I was truly not alone.

When I moved back overseas, I kept my connection to OurPath through the Voices Podcast. Sometimes the episodes are embracing; sometimes they are supportive; sometimes they are challenging; almost always, they are thought-provoking.

OurPath needs you and your financial support to the level at which you can provide it.