Resources for Professionals

Dr. Drescher elaborates on the psychological issues faced by LGBT+ individuals coming out. “More severe forms of dissociation are commonly observed in married men who are homosexually self-aware but cannot permit the thought of themselves as gay (Roughton, 2002).” Author: Jack Drescher, MD.

Explores the steps and factors to consider when discussing whether or not to make your Mixed Orientation Relationship work. Author: Iamclinic

In this third edition of Married Women Who Love Women, Carren Strock gives women ways in which to structure and restructure their lives and their families after they realize their same-gender sexuality. Chapters consider questions such as how women make this discovery, reactions from loved ones, and the outcomes for marriages and families. Updated throughout with contemporary understandings of sexuality and gender, this book includes a wealth of information, fresh narratives, and stories offering insight into women’s experiences across the country.

A spouse transitioning genders is an experience like no other. In this Solo Showdown Comedy & Solo Performance Workshop, Julie Feinstein Adams brings the heart, the nuance, the complexity and the heartbreak to watching a husband transition into a wife.

Morgana Bailey has been hiding her true self for 16 years. In a brave talk, she utters four words that might not seem like a big deal to some, but to her have been paralyzing. Why speak up? Because she’s realized that her silence has personal, professional and societal consequences. In front of an audience of her co-workers, she reflects on what it means to fear the judgment of others, and how it makes us judge ourselves.

Today I’m sharing a personal story about how I told my then husband I’m gay. – Kelli Crux

Matt is gay, and he had known since he was 10 years old. He had pretended to be straight all those years, through marriage to a woman, his best friend, and four children, until he could no longer lie to his wife Luanne. Matt hoped to overcome his attraction to men through prayer, healing, 12-step programs, reparative therapy, determined to be straight enough, determined to make it work. Luanne hoped their love would be enough to get through it. It eventually became clear that Matt’s sexuality wasn’t going anywhere, and he still felt the guilt and shame. Luanne began to realize she would never have a husband who adored her. “I am not attracted to you. I never was, and I never will be,” he said to her in a moment of heartbreaking honesty. Matt felt guilt for not loving his wife in a way she deserved to be loved, but he couldn’t sustain the mixed orientation marriage in perpetuity. The future looked lonely, and he realized they would both be robbed of intimacy, joy and desire. At what cost? was the question that made them consider divorce. Matt acknowledges that Luanne definitely got the raw end of the deal as Matt goes through the process of “untelling” his lie. Their shifts in perspective allowed them to choose gratitude over regret. – Matt Nightingale and Luanne Nightingale

Have you or someone close to you experienced infidelity? Infidelity is not going to go away, Dr. Kevin Skinner poses the question, will we rise up as a society and help those suffering from the trauma of sexual betrayal? Dr. Kevin Skinner is a recognized leader and authority on sexually compulsive behavior, infidelity and trauma from sexual betrayal. In addition, Dr. Skinner has Co-Founded Discover and Change, an assessment platform providing assessments specifically to those struggling with sexual trauma, sexually compulsive behavior and relationships. Dr. Skinner’s treatment is based on his own research stemming from more than 250,000 assessments and over 20 years experience. He’s spent the last 15 years researching how sexual betrayal creates PTSD-like symptoms in the betrayed spouse.

For individuals and couples who are dealing with the aftermath of sexual addiction or chronic betrayal, trauma is not merely one element in the mix. Trauma permeates the experience and dynamic of these relationships such that it is inescapable — in the foreground and background, as the origin and end, as the fuel and engine, both the root and the fruit. In most cases, trauma underlies the emotional experience and behavioral tendencies for both addicted and betrayed partners, and together their individual experiences of trauma create a perfect storm of isolation, pain, fear, shame, and conflict. In this video, Dr. Jake Porter explains some of the ways that betrayed partners experience trauma neurobiologically.

In The Body Keeps the Score, Dr. Van Der Kolk uses recent scientific advances to show how trauma literally reshapes both body and brain, compromising sufferers’ capacities for pleasure, engagement, self-control, and trust. He explores innovative treatments—from neurofeedback and meditation to sports, drama, and yoga—that offer new paths to recovery by activating the brain’s natural neuroplasticity.

Dr. Debi Silber, founder of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute is a holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development speaker, author and mentor who helps people heal from Post Betrayal Syndrome. Her recent PhD study on how we experience betrayal-what holds us back, what helps us heal and what happens to us (physically, mentally and emotionally) when the people closest to us lie, cheat and deceive led to three discoveries around how women experience and heal from betrayal.

Gaslighting is an insidious form of emotional abuse and manipulation that is difficult to recognize and even harder to break free from. In this groundbreaking guide, the prominent therapist Dr. Robin Stern shows how the Gaslight Effect works, how you can decide which relationships can be saved and which you have to walk away from—and how to gasproof your life so you’ll avoid gaslighting relationship.