S7 Ep 3: The Case for Letting Go with Karen Slater

Guest: Karen Slater

Karen Slater had a lot to forgive her closeted husband for, not the least of which is the impact his sexual rejection had on her. It created profound insecurity about her body and sparked years of yo-yo dieting, trying to reignite their sex life, only to have her efforts fail and the cycle repeat. In this conversation, she shares all she had to forgive, why she chose to forgive it, and how she was able to, all while insisting what her husband did in his efforts to maintain his closet were not ok.

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6 responses to “S7 Ep 3: The Case for Letting Go with Karen Slater”

  1. Teresa Upton says:

    An interesting episode – I think the point about what having a partner who isn’t attracted to you sexually does to your self-image is something I’ve really observed over the years. It is something we can rectify but this takes time and a lot of positive affirmation. This affects both men and women who have had an LGBT partner/spouse.

  2. Stella says:

    So healing for me to listen to all these podcasts for 9 years now I can relate to them so much I also forgave but will never forget an abusive 21 yr marriage 3 children .
    Made peace again with him 6 yrs after I divorced him he said he still loved me I lost him 2 yrs ago x

  3. Lynn says:

    I have been listening to your Podcast since I found it last summer after discovering my husband is gay after 33 years of marriage and 3 children. I felt so alone until I started listening and felt I had found my people. This particular episode with Karen Slater really spoke to me and was such a familiar story. I felt like she was telling my story. Please pass this onto Karen she has really made me feel seen and understood.
    Thank you and please keep doing what you are doing; it is so important to many of us.

  4. Michelle says:

    I have just finished listening to S7 Ep 3 and I really wanted to leave a comment. I think it’s great that Karen can forgive her ex for what he did and was glad she also recognized that not all situations are the same. She touched on a subject that I really want to comment on. This subject relates to children. She said she wouldn’t have them if it weren’t for her ex but she also could’ve had them with someone else that wasn’t hiding secrets and thus the kids would grow up in a loving home with both parents not a broken home. What these spouses don’t realize is that they didn’t only break up a marriage they broke up a family! I, unlike Karen have never gotten an apology from my ex and don’t expect to ever receive one. He is off living the single life and doesn’t care about the family he once had. So just to reiterate, not all situations are the same .

  5. Karen says:

    Lynn, your message means so much to me! I’m so glad my story resonated with you. It’s always amazed me how much all of our stories are so different, and yet they are all so much the same. 33 years of marriage is such a long time! I’m glad you’ve found your people now… we hear and get you.

  6. Sandra Eden says:

    Thank you so much! For the first time in 9 months I feel less alone, like maybe there are people who understand. My story has similarities and differences. Like you the most painful part was the damage of being sexually rejected and made to feel like it was my fault . This has done more damage to me than anything else. And there was a lot. He did not say it was my weight . He would always tell me it’s my personality, and that I turned him off everyday. I was overweight and lost 50 lbs In hopes that maybe I would be less resistable. I worked hard at it and he didn’t notice even get “your pretty “ . I also shared a house with him for 7 months before being able to move out. It’s been about 6 weeks now and all the rage seems to be coming back. After hearing your story I know that I have to find a path to forgiveness as he now seems genuinely sorry. I am so mad . I feel like he stole my ability to be a women, made me feel less than and basically stole my chance at happiness. We can get a long most of the time but sometimes the rage comes out and I remind him of all the terrible things he did over and over. I have to stop, get off the damn hamster wheel, be strong for my son. How did you keep the emotions from boiling over I. His presence?

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