Guest: Karen Slater
Karen Slater had a lot to forgive her closeted husband for, not the least of which is the impact his sexual rejection had on her. It created profound insecurity about her body and sparked years of yo-yo dieting, trying to reignite their sex life, only to have her efforts fail and the cycle repeat. In this conversation, she shares all she had to forgive, why she chose to forgive it, and how she was able to, all while insisting what her husband did in his efforts to maintain his closet were not ok.
An interesting episode – I think the point about what having a partner who isn’t attracted to you sexually does to your self-image is something I’ve really observed over the years. It is something we can rectify but this takes time and a lot of positive affirmation. This affects both men and women who have had an LGBT partner/spouse.
So healing for me to listen to all these podcasts for 9 years now I can relate to them so much I also forgave but will never forget an abusive 21 yr marriage 3 children .
Made peace again with him 6 yrs after I divorced him he said he still loved me I lost him 2 yrs ago x
I have been listening to your Podcast since I found it last summer after discovering my husband is gay after 33 years of marriage and 3 children. I felt so alone until I started listening and felt I had found my people. This particular episode with Karen Slater really spoke to me and was such a familiar story. I felt like she was telling my story. Please pass this onto Karen she has really made me feel seen and understood.
Thank you and please keep doing what you are doing; it is so important to many of us.
Lynn
I have just finished listening to S7 Ep 3 and I really wanted to leave a comment. I think it’s great that Karen can forgive her ex for what he did and was glad she also recognized that not all situations are the same. She touched on a subject that I really want to comment on. This subject relates to children. She said she wouldn’t have them if it weren’t for her ex but she also could’ve had them with someone else that wasn’t hiding secrets and thus the kids would grow up in a loving home with both parents not a broken home. What these spouses don’t realize is that they didn’t only break up a marriage they broke up a family! I, unlike Karen have never gotten an apology from my ex and don’t expect to ever receive one. He is off living the single life and doesn’t care about the family he once had. So just to reiterate, not all situations are the same .
Lynn, your message means so much to me! I’m so glad my story resonated with you. It’s always amazed me how much all of our stories are so different, and yet they are all so much the same. 33 years of marriage is such a long time! I’m glad you’ve found your people now… we hear and get you.