S2 Ep 18: My Life As a Beard

Guest: Kelly Wilkins, Writer

Kelly talks about the rise and fall of her marriage to a closeted gay man, being used as what she calls his “ambulatory homophobia meat-shield,” and sitting in her office on their first anniversary crying because her husband would not have sex with her. “I remember thinking, this isn’t how this is supposed to be.” She lays out, in stark detail, the psychological warfare, gaslighting and script flipping she was subjected to until the very end, when the truth finally came out. “He would tell me, ‘Maybe I would want to have sex with you more if you weren’t so fat; no one wants to f**k a fat woman.’ You know it was a perfectly good insult to throw out at me since I was already self-conscious,” Kelly says.

“I still bristle when people ask me, how could you not know?” she writes. “Just a tip: don’t ask that. You’re putting the responsibility for disclosure on the wrong damn person and it’s a shitty thing to do.”

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