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Today’s episode features a presentation of the Minwalla Model of Deceptive Sexuality and Complex Trauma Treatment. In 2006, Dr. Omar Minwalla began to study the signs of Complex Trauma related stress in people whose spouses had committed infidelity. Minwalla’s powerful educational metaphor, the “Secret Sexual Basement”, has made the personal, relational, and sociological abuses that comprise deceptive sexuality accessible to everyone.
By putting the spotlight on the harms of “deceptive sexuality,” Minwalla shows how clinically significant deficits in integrity enable infidelity and can rise to the level of an Integrity Abuse Disorder, which he categorizes as a form of intimate partner abuse.
From here we take Minwalla’s model a step further and posit that closeted LGBT+ spouses in mixed orientation marriages have a Secret Sexual Basement of their own. This compartmentalized secret sexual reality not only contains secret sexual behaviors that may or may not be going on, but also contains their hidden or obscured sexual orientation or gender identity. It’s not just that deception is employed to cover infidelity, it’s that, intentional or not, deception may be deployed to cover sexuality itself.
In the case of marriage closets, as with infidelity, concealment behaviors, manipulation and deceptive management of straight spouses constitutes patterns of emotional, psychological and relational harm that may give rise to symptoms of complex trauma in straight spouses.
DR. OMAR MINWALLA WEBSITE: https://minwallamodel.com
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By Kristin Kalbli The character Ted Lasso is, in my opinion, a delightful pop sage of our times, and one of his most impactful platitudes is undoubtedly, “be curious,…
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Find books, blogs, websites, articles, and videos with diverse stories and resources about Mixed Orientation Relationships, partners coming out as LGBT+ within a relationship, and navigating life post discovery or disclosure. These resources can help you discover your path moving forward. (For OurPath’s proprietary resources go to the Our Voices page).
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