Resources for Partners of Trans People

Individuals who transition from one gender to another are often in some degree of a relationship, and over 55% of these relationships endure through the transition process. While more resources are emerging for trans people themselves, there is very little information available for their partners. Through first-hand accounts and vignettes of successful partnerships, this book presents detailed descriptions of everything involved in the transition process, with specific guidance for those supporting a partner in transition. Topics include disclosure, mental health, coming out, loss and grief, sex and sexuality and the legal, medical and social practicalities of transitioning. In this essential guide, people whose partners are across the transgender spectrum speak out on their own experiences with personal advice and support for others. Author: Jo Green.

Hit the trail with Sara Schulting Kranz, life coach and certified wilderness guide, on her journey to find healing and forgiveness from the scars of sexual abuse and the trauma of an unexpected divorce. As a young, single-mother, Sara discovered her path to forgiveness and healing started with a daily practice of actively embracing the power and beauty of nature. Along the way, Sara learned a key lesson that to heal from anything you must walk through it on your own terms. In her new book, Walk Through This, Sara provides a path forward for those who have also suffered setbacks or trauma.

Therapist Anna Fels writes about the psychological impact of “sudden material information” being uncovered in marriage.

Dr. Drescher elaborates on the psychological issues faced by LGBT+ individuals coming out. “More severe forms of dissociation are commonly observed in married men who are homosexually self-aware but cannot permit the thought of themselves as gay (Roughton, 2002).” Author: Jack Drescher, MD.

A story of a partner’s transition and how the couple navigated that transition. Author: Brigitte Lacombe

Author Carrie Wynn describes the four stages of behavior a narcissist will employ to keep a relationship that benefits them intact.

Part memoir, part voyeur’s look into a marriage, Sex Changes is a journey through the end of a marriage and out the other side. We see a woman, desperate to save her family and shelter her children, discover a well of strength and resilience she never knew she had. We learn what to tell the neighbors when your husband starts wearing heels with his shirts and ties. We see a woman open herself to a group of friends who travel with her through her darkest times, provide light and levity throughout—and who offer the opportunity to learn how to give as well as receive the love and support of true friendship. When she lost her husband to skirts and hormones, life made Chris a better woman. Sex Changes is the story of what one woman discovered about herself in the midst of the conflagration of her family. Fiercely funny, self-lacerating, and not entirely politically correct, Sex Changes is a journey of love and anguish told with hilarity, heartbreak and a lot of soul searching. It is about the mysteries in every marriage, the secrets we chose to keep, and the freedom that the truth can bring. Author: Christine Benvenuto.

Author Helen Boyd is a happily married woman whose husband enjoys sharing her wardrobe – and she has written the first book on transgendered men to focus on their relationships. Traditionally known as cross-dressers, transvestites, or drag queens, men like Helen’s husband are a diverse lot who don’t always conform to stereotype. Helen addresses every imaginable question concerning the probable and improbable reasons for behavior that still baffle not only “mental health professionals” but the practitioners themselves; the taxonomy of the transgendered and the distinct but overlapping societies of each group; coming out; bisexuality, and homophobia.

Explores the steps and factors to consider when discussing whether or not to make your Mixed Orientation Relationship work. Author: Iamclinic

Helen Boyd’s husband, who had long been open about being a cross-dresser, was considering living as a woman full time. Suddenly, Boyd was confronted with the reality of what it would mean if her husband were actually to become a woman — socially, legally, and medically. Would Boyd love and desire her partner the same way? Boyd’s first book, My Husband Betty, explored the relationships of cross-dressing men and their partners. Now, She’s Not the Man I Married is both a sequel and a more expansive examination of gender in relationships. It’s for couples who are homosexual or heterosexual, and for readers who fall anywhere along the gender continuum. As Boyd struggles to understand the nature of marriage, passion, and love, she shares her confusion and anger, providing a fascinating observation of the ways in which relationships are gendered, and how we cope, or don’t, with the emotional and sexual pressures that gender roles can bring to our marriages and relationships.

For many years, the author had coped with her spouse’s moodiness, but that chronic unhappiness was taking a toll on their marriage. A little over a year after their child came out, her partner also came out as transgender. Knowing better than most what would lie ahead, Jetté Knox searched for positive examples of marriages surviving transition. When she found no role models, she determined that her family would become one. The shift was challenging, but slowly the family members noticed that they were becoming happier and more united. Told with remarkable candour and humour, and full of insight into the challenges faced by trans people, Love Lives Here is a beautiful story of transition, frustration, support, acceptance, and, of course, love. Author: Amanda Jette Knox.

Theirs was the storybook marriage that inspired others. For over twenty years, and after three failed marriages, Marcy Madden had everything she had ever dreamed of in her husband, he was passionate, romantic, spiritual, generous, funny, loving, and… he cooked. She finally had someone who would love her as much as she could love. There was just one problem… a secret that could to shatter this storybook marriage. One fateful morning, her husband came out to her – Her Scott was transgender. A woman trapped in a man’s body, her man’s body. Marcy felt her love, her world, her place in it, and her ideal marriage were instantly threatened. Marcy would have to scrutinize all that she held dear, examine her own identity and ultimately face her deepest fears. In her brutally honest account, Marcy leads the reader into a dark night of the soul that would last five years, while she simultaneously battled ovarian cancer, with compassion, intelligence and wit. An emotional journey where the only handrail is that Gold standard love that she had forged over decades with her Scottie. She emerges to create a stronger, deeper and more loving marriage than she ever thought possible. Just Because My Husband’s a Woman – Marcy’s side of the story, is triumph of the power of love that will make you cheer.