Guest: Pastor Carter Cortelyou
In part 2 of our deep dive into forgiveness, we seek a spiritual perspective with Methodist Pastor Carter Cortelyou. We talk about why it can be so hard to let go of the identity of being a straight spouse, what lies on the other side of forgiveness, and why forgiveness can make us feel vulnerable.
Carter Cortelyou is a United Methodist clergy person who has been serving congregations in Michigan since 1990. He currently pastors Novi (long “I”) United Methodist Church in the suburbs of Detroit. His ex-wife came out to him in October 2009 after 24 years of marriage. He married his wife Andrea In September 2013. Carter is a past Board President of OurPath and serves as the Metro Detroit support contact.
I’ve been working on the process of forgiveness in therapy. It is a process. My process hasn’t been as long as others, I’m not sure why? My therapist tells me that it’s because I’m resilient. I think that coming to terms with my situation and letting go of the fears that come with it has allowed me to move forward more quickly. I had to remind myself over and over that forgiveness is not saying that the betrayal was okay, instead, it’s saying that it was NOT okay, but I forgive you anyway. My divorce will be final tomorrow. I’ve come a long way thanks to therapy, friends, and ourpath!