Guest: Bridget Walker
10 years ago, Bridget unknowlingly married a gay man. He came out to her just four months ago. In this raw, deeply honest epiosde, Bridget takes listeners on a journey through the early days of her heartbreak with vulnerability and realness. She talks about anger, depression, and coping with learning that her marriage was not what she thought. She may have learned that she was not at fault for the distance in her marriage, but her husband’s secret created the conditions for her to spend years blaming herself for their disconnect.
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How brave of you, Bridget, to consider the entire consequence so quickly after disclosure so that your children and extended families could make it through the holiday! It has been 21 years for me and your story brought me back to the raw moments I experienced at disclosure.
I send encouragement to you. This group truly provided valuable support over all these years.
This IS soooo diffoafter almost 3 years of finding out I am still hurt confused trust issues 💔💔💔
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am eight months out and your words resonated so strongly with my experience thus far. I wish you peace and healing as you continue through this most awful and unexpected journey.
This podcast is very painful to listen to because, unlike the other podcasts, it is made by someone fresh from discovery, so she is still grief stricken and you can hear it so clearly that it makes even an oldie like me relive those dreadful weeks just after your life has imploded. Even though she is in a fairly best case scenario – partner comes out clearly, encourages her to confide in friends and family, she has a supportive family and supportive friends, says he has not cheated etc in spite of all that it is agony. Having warned everyone about the pain of listening, I still think it is valuable because it shows the many, many newbies that they are not alone, and she talks about the stumbling steps she takes to get help. You really are not alone and podcasts like this help to spread understanding and empathy.
I am still in sooo much pain
Married 32 years. I am so lost and sad and scared. I think I want us to stay together, but I can’t imagine how this will work
Bridget- thank you for sharing your heart. I am
3 years out from finding out my husband of 37 years is gay. This past Sunday would’ve been our 40th anniversary-and, since we are simply separated, at this point, technically it still was our 40th anniversary. Myself & our 2 adult children were blindsided & our hearts shattered into a million pieces. The news broke us in so many ways.
One of the things that hurt the most was just how absolutely celebrated my husband was for coming out. As he would tell me one after another friend or family member so proud & happy for him- I would ask—- did they ask about me & the kids? There is a flip side to being proud of someone coming out and that is a family that is completely devastated & broken. We had lost our North Star & we were floundering around as my husband had a whole new world in front of him. He truly could not-still does not see -why anyone would see him any differently than before, but people close to me also saw the millions of tears I’ve cried over these 3 years, the depression & the anxiety I’ve experienced-and worse than anything having to do with me was the call from our sons friend saying Nick just wanted to die. That was when I GOT MAD at my husband for what he had done to us.
Like you, without being able to stop them… the tears still fall when my husband and I discuss certain things. I can not stop them from coming despite the RX that should ward off tears,
3 years after disclosure- I’m finding I need connection with people who know what I have been feeling. I went to therapy but just did not get the gist of rehashing & rehashing the same stuff over & over again.
I wish for you peace & joy to enter your soul & your home with your kids once again.
At 62 (for 4 more days!) I thought this would be a time that we would retire & travel together. Instead I’m finding myself living alone for the first time in my life. I went from living with my
Mom, dad & six siblings to getting married & moving many times across the U.S.
in each of the moves -I went with the motto
Bloom where you are planted.
Just in the past few weeks- I finally feel light & joy coming back into my life. I missed out on the last 3 years in fear, sadness, sickness, depression, blaming myself for many failures in our marriage, Self doubting, self hating, self hurting, questioning the last 40 years of my life etc.
but I would not change it because I got the 2 best kids from my marriage and I could not imagine my life without them.
I wish you peace & joy as you navigate this unimaginable trauma.
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I’m so sorry, Bridget. My heart aches for you. This is exactly the reason I never bothered to marry a woman. I would never want to hurt someone the way you have been. I’m 66 now.