Guest: Alexis Johnson

Today Alexis tells us the story of her father coming out to her, and how that experience both helped and complicated when she discovered her own husband was gay. She talks about the challenge of intimacy in her marriage, and how her ex-husband either avoided or deflected discussions on physical intimacy, leading Alexis to “poke the bear” trying to get to the bottom of their sexual troubles. She shares that her husband labeled her a ‘nymphomaniac’ for desiring healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship, and how that impacted her.

In Alexis’s own words: “When my ex came out it was around my birthday. And it wasn’t him coming out to me, he likes to refer to it as me dragging him out of the closet. And it was one of the moments where I poked the bear. I wanted to, honestly, get laid for my birthday present, and I got rejected, and I was done. And I said ‘what’s going on? Are you cheating on me?’ and he said, ‘no,’ and I said ‘Are you asexual?’ and he said, ‘no I’m not asexual,’ and I did the Hail Mary pass and I said, ‘Are you gay?’ and he said, ‘I think I am,’ and that set the stage for the next year of spiraling out of control, and going up and down and I hit sort of a really bad place, and I was suicidal.”