One parent is never responsible for or able to control the relationship of children with their other parent. But according to the Institute for Family Studies, parental conflict is harmful to children, and high conflict divorce is toxic for children. For that reason, it is important that Straight Partners or Partners of Trans People encourage a continued good relationship with the LGBT+ parent, especially in divorce cases. This is challenging at a time when the Sp/PTP may be grieving and angry. It is one of the most difficult tasks of parenting to set aside personal feelings of hurt and betrayal to encourage a healthy relationship with all parents, but if it can be done, kids fare better. 

Do your best to resist the urge to use the children as “go-betweens” for yourself and your partner/ex-partner or vent to your children about their other parent. Allow children to establish their own relationship with their other parent. Situations where the children’s health and well being are in jeopardy are obvious exceptions, and legal guidance on managing high conflict divorce is recommended.